12.21.2005
Maybe I can say everything I want to say to you now... here?... Slightly inebriated and with so much on my mind it seems like this might be the only chance that you'll see this. The likelyhood of this happening is slim to none but I can only hope and perhaps maybe build up the courage to actually say these things...Do things feel weird to you? Just awkward, not like they used to be.. and not in a good way? I feel like we're drifting apart and it makes me sad. It is largely my fault, I did pull away but it seemed like the only way. I know its not, but I don't know how else to deal with things aside from run away and hide. I don't want to do that, I miss you as a friend, and I don't know what to do. At times you seem so apathetic that I don't even know if you notice but can you not? If things could go back to the way they were I think I'd want it that way, and I've said that so often to myself. Otherwise though I don't even know. I wish I knew where you stand, what you think of me, what you think of everything. I'm completely lost...
Will any of this ever get said? probably not... the fact that this even reaches the internet is a bit of a mystery. If you think this is about you, give me a message and I'll probably tell you that you're wrong :) ta~
# posted by Diana: 1:41 a.m. |