11.05.2005
I hate boys.But OLP tomorrow.
Not ready at all for my psychopathology midterm.
Not in the right mind to study
Can't think Straight
Can't think
Feeling sick to my stomach
Lost in a weird state of turmoil
not even turmoil
I sound melodramatic
I hate sounding melodramatic
Whats wrong with me
Why can't i stop
No more
but always
I need a distraction
I wish I could make time stop
I want to be numb again
Stop
Just stop
Please
of course not
that wouldn't be allowed
I thought I accepted what happened
I guess not
Will I ever
probably not
lets hope I can hide it
Let me delude myself
eventually I'll probably believe it
Keep saying it
keep believing it
I hate this
push
off the tower
let me fall
forever falling
it all comes tumbling down
shake it off
feel good
laughter
but no
instead just
bittersweet
tainted
everything
fuck
Fin
# posted by Diana: 6:32 p.m. |